"Secret" to Grocery Shopping

There is none, but B seems to think so. B has started to come grocery shopping with me. I don't mind, but he always buys more than on the list. Whatever. We always play a game at checkout. I have made the list and priced the items. When we get the total at checkout, we see how close I was to the predicted amount. Not rocket science since I know the prices of most products. I am almost always within a dollar or so of the total. B has always been impressed.

The other day he said he figured out my "secret". What secret? He feels because I have the same recipes in rotation, the amount will always be the same since I'm used to buying the ingredients, therefore, I'll always "win" at the checkout. Huh??? He doesn't see the days I spend scouring my recipe books, and sale ads, and comparing that with what I already have in my freezer/pantry. On top of all that, I make foods B likes (he's extremely picky), easy to prepare, transport well, and reheat well the following day, AND stick to the $50 a week budget. It is so much more than making a list of stuff we want to eat and buying it.

I kind of got miffed, but since I'm trying to be more positive and yadda yadda yadda, I suggested he give me a menu and I'll try to buy the stuff for it under $50. He agreed. Of course, he is not the master of following things through and most likely will not do it.

Change

I am a "people pleaser" by nature. I need for everyone to be happy and to get along. In order for this to happen, I often apologize for things I haven't done just to stop the arguing. I often take blame for things I have no part in. Does everyone end up happy? Nope. Who is the most miserable? Yup, myself.

I've realized in the hopes of no drama, I've enabled a lot of people. Some people have gotten in the habit of saying they wanted with complete disregard to feelings because in the end I'll be the one apologizing. I've swallowed a lot of hateful hurtful words over the years. On the rare occasion, I decide to "fight back", then I'm told my "real colors are showing". Why is it okay for someone to be so negative towards me on occasion and the rare event when I speak up (often times true), I'm the one that has gone too far?

This was my scenario this morning. I left the house telling B to drive carefully and that I love him. I do and even in anger, I recognize that I do. He wanted no part of it and shooed me away without a second glance. I am in the right. I caught him in a lie and he won't admit to it. Instead he tries to manipulate me into making me think that I'm nosy and it is none of my business. He doesn't get the bigger picture. Even with all of that has happened between us and even though I know where I stand, I cannot help but want to reach out to him and tell him I'm sorry.

It's been about 4 hours and I will not cave.

A Little Note

Dear B,

Please do not tell me what I do and what I don't do. This is especially when all I see you do is sit on the couch, browse the Internet, and nap. The next time you want the third towel in a stack of six, please neatly take the towel you want and not rumple the others. When I politely ask you arrange them in a neat stack again, please do so knowing that they were all nice and even before you decided to rumple them. Please do not have attitude with me because of your laziness and the fact that I called you out on it. It does not matter if my sock drawer is a mess, I like my towels stacked neatly. After all, I am the one that regularly washes them and puts them away.

Cordially,
IrkedGirlfriend